Doi is Indonesian slang for "him" or "her", and nearly always for a specific him or her: your crush, your date or your partner. It is the word friends use to talk about the person you like without saying their name. Gimana doi? (How's your crush?) is a question you will hear, and probably be asked, within your first few months of making Indonesian friends.
It is pronounced DOY, one syllable, rhyming with "boy".
Here is the quick version, then each use with examples.
- Your crush or partner: Doi udah tahu? (Does he/she know yet?)
- The person being gossiped about: Doi nggak datang. (He/she didn't come.)
- Where it comes from: dia (he/she), flipped into slang.
- The words around it: gebetan (crush), pacar (partner), mantan (ex), jadian (to become a couple).
- Who says it: young people, in speech and in chats. Not your boss.
1. Doi means your crush or partner
The main use. Doi stands in for the person you are seeing, or hoping to, and your friends use it so the whole table knows who is meant without naming anyone.
- Gimana doi? How's your crush? / How are things with him/her?
- Doi udah bales belum? Has he/she replied yet?
- Lagi sama doi. I'm with him/her right now.
- Doi suka kamu juga, tahu. He/she likes you too, you know.
Indonesian has no "he" and "she": dia covers both, and so does doi. Context tells you who.
2. Doi as a knowing "him" or "her"
Beyond romance, doi can be any "that person", said with a nudge. It implies that everyone listening knows who is meant and that the person is slightly a topic.
- Doi nggak datang lagi. He/she didn't show up again.
- Doi yang bayar. He/she paid.
- Kata doi sih gitu. That's what he/she said, anyway.
Sih is a softener, roughly "well, as far as I know". It and doi live in the same kind of sentence: casual, between friends, half-gossip.
3. Where doi comes from
Doi is dia (he, she) run through Jakarta's old flipped slang, where words were turned around or reshaped to make them unrecognisable to outsiders: dia became doi, in the same family as bokap (father, from bapak) and nyokap (mother, from ibu via a longer route). The slang spread through television and music in the 1980s and 1990s, and doi stuck because it filled a gap: a word for "the person I'm seeing" that is lighter than pacar (girlfriend or boyfriend) and does not commit you to anything.
Our podcast episode on perkenalan, introductions, covers how Indonesians actually present themselves and the people in their lives; doi is what happens once that formality is over.
4. The words that go with doi
Doi is one of a set, and the set is how Indonesians talk about relationships.
| Word | Meaning | Example | |---|---|---| | gebetan | crush, the person you are pursuing | Dia gebetanku. (He/she is my crush.) | | doi | him/her, usually the crush or partner | Doi cakep. (He/she is good-looking.) | | pacar | girlfriend or boyfriend | Udah punya pacar? (Got a partner yet?) | | jadian | to become official, to start dating | Kita jadian kemarin. (We got together yesterday.) | | PDKT | the getting-to-know-you stage (pendekatan) | Lagi PDKT. (We're in the talking stage.) | | mantan | ex | Itu mantanku. (That's my ex.) | | LDR | long-distance relationship | Kita LDR. (We're long distance.) |
Jadian is built on jadi (to become), one of the five uses in our guide to what jadi means. And the answer to udah punya pacar? is belum (not yet), never nggak, for the reason in our guide to udah and belum.
5. When not to say doi
Doi is young, casual and spoken. Use it with friends your own age, in chat messages and on social media. Do not use it:
- about an older person or someone senior, where it sounds flippant;
- in anything written for work;
- to the person themselves. You do not call your partner doi; you call them by name or by a pet name (sayang, beb). Doi is for talking about them.
Said about someone's partner to their face, doi is friendly: doi ikut nggak? (is your other half coming?). Said about a stranger or an elder, it is odd.
Common mistakes
Using doi for any "he" or "she". It works grammatically, but it carries a wink. For a plain third person, dia.
Saying doi to your partner. It is a word for talking about them, not to them.
Hearing doi as "dua" (two) or "doa" (prayer). Three different words. Doi rhymes with "boy"; dua has two syllables; doa is DOH-ah.
Treating gebetan and pacar as the same. Gebetan is the crush you have not landed yet. Pacar is official. Doi can be either.
FAQ
What does doi mean in Indonesian?
Slang for "him" or "her", nearly always a crush, a date or a partner. Gimana doi? means "how's your crush?" or "how are things with him/her?".
Where does the word doi come from?
From dia (he/she), reshaped in old Jakarta slang that flipped and twisted common words. It spread through television and music and is now understood everywhere in Indonesia.
Is doi for a boy or a girl?
Either. Indonesian has no separate "he" and "she", and doi follows dia in covering both.
Can I call my girlfriend or boyfriend doi?
Not to their face. Doi is for talking about someone. To them, use their name or a pet name like sayang.
What is the difference between doi, gebetan and pacar?
Gebetan is a crush you are pursuing, pacar is an official girlfriend or boyfriend, and doi is the casual "him/her" that can mean either, depending on who is talking.
Learn the Indonesian your friends actually speak
Doi is not in any beginner course, and it is in every group chat. The gap between the two is where most learners get stuck, and it is the gap JADI is built for.
Every lesson is written by Yohana, a native Indonesian teacher, around the sentences people say, with audio for each one and spaced repetition so they stay. Starting from zero? Our beginner's guide to learning Indonesian lays out the first three months. The first 6 lesson days are free.
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